DA LI ZNATE ŠTA JE NAJTEŽE U ŽIVOTU? / DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS THE HARDEST THING IN LIFE?

Proleće. Vreme kada sve cveta. Svi se nekako bude iz zimskog sna.
Nju su još tokom zime zaledili porodični odnosi. Sada se sve otopilo.
Uvek postoje dva puta. Mogla je da dopusti da je pojede negativnost, a mogla je i da pusti.

Nije mogla da shvati kad su ljudi postali toliko hladni i bezosecajni? Ti isti ljudi, tetka, teča, braća, su joj dok je bila mala ispunjavali razne želje, vodili je na more… Njeni roditelji su im pomagali u poslu i ona je koliko je mogla učinila. Porodica. A sad? Da li su samo dobri glumci ili ih je crv vremena načeo?

Sve se izdešavalo brzo. Ona se mnogih stvari ne seća ili neće da se seti.

Uvek su postojala dva izgovora:
-AFEKAT
-MI NEMAMO

Kroz maglu joj odzvanjaju reči – „Izbacili su baku iz kuće jer nije htela da im prepiše još neki deo…….“

Najteže je odlučiti koje mostove treba preći, a koje srušiti.

Ona je prešla most, a zatim ga je spalila. Odlučila je da se bez jedne jedine reči povuče. Shvatala je da će to najviše da ih zaboli, ali nije se povukla zato. Povukla se zbog sebe jer je shvatila da su ljudi koji nisu i ne žele da budu svesni svojih postupaka opasni po život.   Još uvek nije sigurna šta pretvara čoveka u bezosećajanog i alavog grabljivca.    

Zahvalna je što njihov porodični rat nije uzeo ljudske žrtve. Još više je zahvalna na tome što su svi pokazali svoje pravo lice. Umrli su samo međuljudski odnosi. Zato joj, bez obzira na bajkovitu prošlost, sada nije žao spaljenih mostova.

***

Spring. Everything is in flovers and smells. Everything is waking up from winter dreams. She was iced with familiar relationships since winter. Now everything melts. There always two ways to go. She could let negativity to eat her, or she could let go of everything.

She never understood how people become so cold and without feelings. Those people, ants, brothers fulfilled lots of her wishes while she was younger, take her with them on holidays….. Her parents helped them with job, so did she. Family. And now? Did they were just good actors or time vorm ate all the humanity in them?

Everything was passed fast. She can’t remember lots of things, or she don’t want to.

There always were two exuses:
-AFECT
-WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH

Through the fog she hear words like: „They kicked grandmother from the house because she didn’t wanted to give them something else more….“

IT’S HARDEST TO DECIDE WHICH BRIDGES TO PASS, AND WHICH TO KNOCK DOWN

She decided to pass that bridge, and them to burn it. She decided to withdraw without any words. She knew that this will hurt them, but she didn’t do that because of that. She did that because of her because she understands that people who are not aware of they own doings are very dangerous for her life. She still can’t understand what make man to an vulture without feelings.

She is grateful because this family war didn’t take human victims. She is more grateful because lot’s of people showed their true faces. Just some human relationship has died. Because of that she can’t just be aware of fairytales from the past. That’s why she is not sorry because of all burned bridges.

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